IF GOD WERE A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER...!!
Some important theological questions can best be answered by thinking of God as a computer programmer:Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?
A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and coffee. On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend had left him. ;-)
Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise, things can wait until tomorrow. :-D
Q: How come the Age of Miracles ended?
A: That was the development phase of the project. Now we're in the maintenance phase. ;-)
Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?
A: God thought he eliminated evils in one of the earlier reviews. :-/
Q: How can I protect myself from evil?
A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday. :-E
Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?
A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all those variables. :-)
Q: Where will I go after I die?
A: Onto a DAT tape. ;-)
Q: Will I be reincarnated?
A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you. And searching those .tar files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, God will just say that the system does not support this version. :-D
Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?
A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running exact duplicates of you in the present release version.
Q: Some people say God is Love.
A: That is not a question. Please restate your query in the form of a question. :-O
Excogitated by a_beautifulmind @ 8:34 PM
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